This girl is still confused with the ways of life. She has so many whys?,so many of her questions are still left unanswered. She wonders as to whether all the questions have answers.
Yes! She knows some questions don't have answers…but she never asked questions that did not have answers, never asks such questions, all she needed was an answer to her simple questions and that also she did not get(how hurt was she, only she knew!).
She has so many things inside her that at times she feels all her pent up feelings,thoughts,wishes,dreams would explode any moment and that the explosion would be so massive that she is afraid the blown up pieces would be strewn everywhere and try as much as she may to find the strewn pieces she would not find them(her heart is thudding so much with such thoughts).
She is a simple, fun loving, frank, dance lover, song lover, heart full of love kinda girl,she believes in 'happily ever afters',she has watched so many such stories in movies (still watches),she had read so many such things in books (still reads).
She believes in 'love at first sights'but people often mistook her frankness, her fun loving character with disdain, question marks, and raised eyebrows and she is often left with tears, tears and more tears,tears are her constant companion. She sheds silent tears every night unbeknown to everyone who knows her for she is a master in masquerading her tears,she always presents her bubbly side to others,a different facade.
The one she loved also let her shed so many such tears often times she looked at herself in the mirror…and saw a glazed blank pale image(as if an evil, invisible force has snatched away all her smiles, her happiness , her bubbly nature).
She had often asked him questions too, simple straightforward ones and all she got from him was "some questions don't have answers" and here she thought her questions were simple, indeed it was simple!!!
"Don't you love me"? she would say and his answer as always would be "I do"(well then you all must be thinking what is wrong with her?)…well…love for him is "not call her", "not meet her", "not pick up her calls", "always keep his cell unreachable", she asks the above questions only in the mails she sends him because it is only in the mails he replies and that also the chances of his reply are once in a million, but though once her face spreads into this biG BiG...smile (as his mail would show he misses her...loves her and wants her to wait...so on and forth) but after that …she is yet again left with questions.
If he so loves her, what is holding him back? Why can't he call her once? Why can't he spare a minute of his time (60 secs?)...Is he a married guy?....if so why can't he be forthright? (why is he keeping her in darkness?). She had indeed asked him such questions a million times but each time she was left with her own set of questions, rivulets of tears would just then flow from her eyes and leave a trail mark on her face, her face would show such agony that should you see her then you would have tears in your eyes and cried your heart out too!
In him she believed the' love at first sight' phrase, she took in him her prince charming because the moment she laid her eyes on him she wished and included him in her dreams, thoughts, smiles… and she gave her heart. She didn't give her heart easily(and no her heart was not meant for every Tom, Dick and Harry),he had assured the same thing to her then(alas!for him it was just words, she realized it a little too late but we know it is never too late to start things all over again right?)
(Author's note: in the sequel, we see her tears subsiding)
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